CRPS “Free” (well sort of) Day

I wanted to share with you my CRPS (well sort of) free day. I have now been in a flare for 31 days and still I hope that it is just still a flare and not the way I will be feeling until the next change. At the moment I have been trying everything to help ease the pain which is unrelenting and after this amount of time is really starting to wear me out, I just want to sleep as much as I can because I am so tired and it is also more hours of escape.

So I have added some old epilepsy medication that I didn’t think worked again and my doctor is trying to help by prescribing the “bad ones” again (oxy codone). Again no real releif, just a little more calm to prevent more pain.

But suddenly out of the blue last week I woke up and felt alright, I had breakfast and felt alright..then I tempted fate and had a shower (which is where everything normally turns pear shaped) and I was still feeling pretty good. So I continued to dress myself and actually use the blow dryer. I came out to speak to Jake “Quick I said, I am feeling the best I have felt in forever lets go do something, I’m not sure how long it will last but let’s go out”

We decided on Sizzler, a restaurant not too far from home. I even drove there without my TENS machine on – it really was quite amazing not having the cords tangle in to the handbrake. All in all it was just one of the strangest feelings having such a decrease in pain all of a sudden. Of course in saying that I still couldn’t move my hand in the slightest but the 24 hour a day killer pain was not there.

Walking up to the register to be seated it all felt like a dream and you know when people say they had to pinch themselves to see if they were not dreaming? Well that was exactly how I felt, walking in with purpose in my step, upright and able to communicate without the fog of pain blocking my sentences. You know the assistant didn’t even seem to notice that I had a disability, I had fooled her. It was the most wonderful few hours, doing what normal people do and what normal people don’t even think twice to realise how lucky they are – just to be able to enjoy a lovely meal with someone you love. It made the experience twice as good. I was still using my right hand to eat very awkwardly but this day – I didn’t get any down my shirt 🙂

It felt like the “Old Me” the one that feels like she is slowly bit by bit disappearing but trying so desperately to hold on to my dirty jokes and my quick laugh. In person perhaps I still hide it pretty well but at the end of the day I guess it made me realise how much I am missing out on now and how much I want to shout it from the roof tops – “Enjoy every precious moment of you life because one day you could just wake up and your whole life has changed with absolutely no warning”

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