What I would tell my 16 year old self..

1987
A friend of mine asked me to go through my photos and find some of her while she was at school. Sure, I say and then find myself intrenched in these old photos.

At 16 life had been hard, I had lost my dad when I was 13 to what is now called Meningococcal and was also having a lot of issues with a violent brother at home. But still I look into these 16 year old eyes and there is still a spark, that hope for an unknown future. I wonder what that 16 year old girl would say if I told her of her future in her forties. That she would require the service of carers to shower her. That the pain she felt 24 hours a day would leave her bedridden many days a week and battered on the others.

2002

I look in to my eyes at 31 and life has thrown more and more curveballs, deaths of close family and friends, an abusive marriage, knee operations but still there is hope for a new future as a newly single lady. I think by this time most definately the curveballs HAVE to be over – but there is still stalking, restraining orders abduction, bankruptcy, redundancy, more close deaths to go until 40.

P1010618

At 40 completely battered from every dam storm there seemed to be waiting for me.  Surely 40 is where life will begin? I am worse for wear but still I smile and I can still see that spark

I have to soldier on, keeping right here, right now, not yesterday, not tomorrow and take each moment and find the blessing.  There are still many – Thank goodness for that.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. wobblywife
    Apr 16, 2013 @ 19:38:12

    What a fantastic post! I think it is a positive thing to reflect on what we’ve overcome, even the saddest and most difficult times. I know if it weren’t for my experiences, including my previous marriage which was full of bad times and regrets, I would not be where I am today. Big hugs xxx

    Reply

    • shazzagirl70
      Apr 17, 2013 @ 14:24:44

      Yes Kathy you are right and I don’t think we actually acknowledge that as much as we should – we are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Hope today is a relatively good one for you xx

      Reply

  2. mybeautfulthings
    Apr 16, 2013 @ 22:32:25

    Sending you love and hugs xx

    Reply

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