G is for Gratitude….

gratitude

 

A dear friend of mine swung by  with a lovely picture post on my facebook page many weeks ago. To be honest I don’t really remember exactly what it was about but sometimes these little messages come right when you need them.

I have had a really tough time over the last 6 months and certainly not having my pain managed at all. Up and down – mainly down with no relief from my trusty “Lil Buddy” (my Tens machine) and painkillers. I get so frustrated that I am doing all that they tell me to do, physio, stretches, exercise, self hypnosis, fun stuff and still I just can’t be a semi functioning person.

I had an appointment with the pain doctor a fortnight ago, I haven’t met too many people that I really dislike, but I really dislike her. Of course she looked at the painkillers I was taking and I was back to the same doses as when she first saw me last May. It is certainly not my choice but you become tolerant and there is nothing that helps. Then because they are opiod based I am so worried about the whole “tolerance” issue so I don’t take them everyday and my body aches are worse than a normal day. It is a catch 22, I am always open for suggestions but no one ever seems to have any. She told me that I had to bring these pain killers down, I agreed whole heartedly but there was no other suggestions. So I did what they always tell me to do and I managed to bring myself off them again in a matter of days. A tiny dose now and I will only take it once a day.

What really was my saviour through this time was my TENS machine. I have found if I run the poor bugger every waking hour I could get through it. Of course that’s not what you are supposed to do but it has been great to get me through the decrease in drugs.

I always feel pretty despondent after seeing this doctor, I feel that if you have run out of suggestions after a year and a half what hope is there for me in 20 years time. And this was when the little Gratitude post landed on my facebook page. Right when I needed a reality check.

It made me stop and really think, I need to adjust my Gratitude scale and not an easy task for me when I was feeling pretty cranky but it worked. I have to re-assess the things in my life that I am grateful for. The first few were tough to start with and then I just took it back down to basics.

*A beautiful amazing son who I thank whoever is up there controlling this show with all of my heart. How how did I get so very lucky plus he has a really wicked sense of humour too.

*My lovely mum who gets the short end of the stick too often. She is my sounding board and she has to deal with me when I am in the most pain (going to and from the hospital), jeez I think I would just have to tell me to “Shut Up!” sometimes. She never does. I try to apologise as often as I can.

*My amazing friends and family that may sometimes think they are doing nothing at all but having a chance just to get it off my chance without having all the answers is so very precious and I am extremely grateful. This includes the invites for dinner, the Facebook messages, the frozen meals in my fridge and my food fairy neighbour who knows exactly when to turn up with dinner and always on the worst nights for pain. (How does she do that?)

*My gorgeous doggy Domino that gives me so much joy with his antics (they say dogs are like there owners and he is 49 in real years and still as mad as a cut snake!)

*My lovely vibrant personal carer that breezes in here and “Blows the Stink” off the place with her bubbly personality (oh and for cooking me a huge lasagne today as well as everything else she did)

*I am grateful that my hands can somehow still manage to give me joy by making cards, a little slow with some swear words along the way but it makes me happy. 🙂

*Sleep. Thank goodness for sleep. That on those really really awful days I can still normally be able to sleep it off. So many other can’t and it drives you twisty and magnifies you pain.

*Hydrotherapy. To be able to move in the water in ways you can’t on the land.

*Assess my pain. The worst of my pain is in my left arm and a little in my right hand and my back. I don’t have this chronic pain everywhere and there are those that do.

*Lil Buddy (my Tens Machine) You and I have become one 🙂 Without you my pain levels could have sent me twisty by now…ok well more twisty than before.

That’s a lot to be grateful for.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Heather Lynn
    Jun 03, 2013 @ 21:30:30

    Reblogged this on Inspirational Stories and commented:
    *Gratitude* thank you for this awesome post Heather! When you fight CRPS 24/7, gratitude is one of the last things you tend to think about,while you’re lying in bed,in debilitating pain.
    But this post really helped put things in perspective. And inspiration for a future post 🙂
    *If you’re going through hell..keep on moving,don’t slow down,if you’re scared dont show it. You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there…” -Country music,gotta love it!
    Todays challenge: No matter what you’re going through, never forget the things you do still have.
    Make a list,like Heather did in this blog post,of the things you’re grateful for. I know I am,and I will be sharing it soon!
    Thank you again for sharing this post!
    Love,
    -Heather Lynn

    Reply

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